Tuesday, July 29, 2014

To my future "heart kids"

Dear future children,

I read a book this month. It impacted me greatly.

You see, your future dad and I have been praying about you. About when to bring you into our family. About when to begin the process of bringing you from our hearts to our home. Most people will call this arrangement "adoption," but we know that you're already ours. You've likely been physically born to another mother, but you've been born in our hearts and prayers. For you, dear children, we have prayed (see 1 Samuel 1:27).

And are praying.

Fervently.

Frequently.

Almost non-stop in the last week.

I read a book, called Kisses from Katie by a young woman named Katie Davis. She loves Jesus, lives in Uganda and is in the process of adopting 14 children. It's an amazing book.

As she writes about her children, Katie talks about their "back stories" - their living situations before they came to call her "Mommy." Many of her daughters journeyed through poverty, illness, abandonment and the losses of parents, siblings and other relatives before arriving "home." As I read each page, I felt God tugging at my heartstrings. And I begun to realize …. you are living your back story.

Adoption is a redemptive process - out of a significant loss, a new family is born. And it hit me, while reading this book, that your "back story" right now likely involves some struggle. And pain. And maybe nights spent in hunger and tears.

I want you to know, right now, that I'm feeling this. Your story is so real. I'm here with you. I'm joining you in this journey. From far away, or maybe close by, I don't know. You could be right down the road and I'd have no idea! Even though I don't know all the details, I know that God is working through all of his Jeremiah 29:11 promise to give us a future together as a family.

I don't know what that story is right now, but kiddos born of my heart, at some point, you'll read this and learn when your mother started praying for you.

I'm praying for….
… God's provision - enough food to eat, clothes to keep you warm in the winter, a soft bed to sleep in at night. That God will supply all of your needs (see Philippians 4:19).
… People - caring doctors to heal you when you're sick, friends to comfort you when you're sad, a church to share Jesus with you .
… A sense of peace - I pray that you know deep down that I'm here. Waiting. Praying. Loving you already (see John 14:27).

And so many other things that aren't coming to mind as I sit and type through my tears.

Psalm 126:5 tells us that all these tears we're planting will result in a harvest of joy.

I may not know your first names (yet), but I am so looking forward to the joyful day we get to take our first picture as "family Cordova."

With all the love in the world…

Mommy

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